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‘The problem,’ I said, ‘was that it seems to be more about feminism than about sexuality.’ I invited her in for a coffee. She was great company and we laughed a lot. She listened as I told her about my repressed upbringing, my ghastly, stiff mother. In a different story we’d probably have ended up in bed together but in fact we merely became firm friends. The great benefits that accrued to me through Glenys were a wider group of friends and a consequent loss of anxiety about being and admitting to being a lesbian. By no means all her friends were lesbians but a good few were and the others didn’t give a toss about it. Glenys and I remained friends through my time at Uni and after. I got laid a few times at college but never fell in love. The first was a woman of about 40 who, apparently, liked freshers. She seduced me like a huntress going after a deer. She was stealthy, cautious and wily. I ended up in her bed one Friday night and she taught me more in that one night than I had ever. In a large department store I headed straight for the ladies' clothingand scanned the blouses for a plain white one. While it was exciting tobe here as a woman buying clothes for myself, I felt my poverty acutelyas I passed some wonderful clothes. Eventually I found an acceptableclassic blouse in white but was unsure of my size. I wished I'd readthe labels in my wardrobe. I took an 8 and a 10 to try on, sought out aplain knee-length black skirt (just as rare) and took an 8 and a 12(there was no 10) of those too. There was quite a queue for thechanging rooms on this busy Saturday but there was a girl my age tochat to. She was also buying formal clothes for a new office job, butobviously had wider choice and much more money than I did.Undressing in front of the mirror and putting on my new smart clothesaroused me a little sexually and that surprised me. I had been gettingcomfortable in my new persona and now I was finding male lust enteringmy female mind again. I told myself it was just.
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